Slackin off like a boss - 101

So today's prompt over at nablopomo is to write a "how to" post on something that you're good at. And I sat and thought... and thought... and thought...

What am I good at that I can share with you? The fact that I failed in my quest for nablopomo on day one lit a light bulb above my head. Procrastination! It's definitely my strongest and most well honed skill.

So,  I've decided to share some tips for effective procrastination.

First, you'll need to make a to do list. It's got to be long and complex. And long. (Did I say that already? Long.) Number one should be 'make to do list'. This is an easy and empowering start. Now, walk through every room of your abode cataloging all of the projects - no matter how big or small they are - that you see. Or imagine that you see. Don't like the curtains in the bedroom? Why not learn to sew your own? Hate your stained carpet? You can definitely rip it up and install hardwood. Need more dragons around? Papier-mâché 'em! Don't forget to toss in, 'use the bathroom', 'eat Cheetos', 'watch real housewives'. Items that are easy to check off will build your sense of accomplishment and keep you going. Or derail you. You never know which.

Next, find a 'to do list organizational style' that works best for you. Some options include:

• highlighting your existing task list by location
• highlighting your existing task list by priority
• rewriting your list on paper by location
• rewriting your list on paper by priority
• writing each task on a post it and posting on a cork board; sort by location or priority. Try both ways and see which you like best. Then try the other again. Just to be sure.

If you really want to get fancy, you can spend an hour or two creating a spreadsheet to cross reference each task by location AND priority. Throw in potential return on investment and interest level if you want. Or start researching apps that will do it for you. I mean, why reinvent the wheel, right?

Go use the bathroom.

Check off 'use the bathroom' from your list. See? Motivational!

Now check your email to make sure nothing else needs to be added to your adequately organized to do list. Investigate the picture that facebook notifies you you've been tagged in. Fall down the facebook wormhole for at least an hour.

Use the bathroom again.

Make a mental note to include 'use the bathroom' at least twice on tomorrow's to do list.

Look at the clock and realized you've only got 20 minutes till dinner time.

Grab that bag of Cheetos, flop down on the couch and commence a real housewives marathon until you pass out drooling on your couch. Now that's what I call a productive day. Without children, of course. With kids around, the procrastination gets so much easier but the screaming can escalate a whole lost faster.