What doesn't serve.

So after returning from a wonderful weekend at the beach last weekend, I fell into super lazy mode. I was sick with an epic man cold (yes, I know I’m a woman but seriously... this thing just won’t give up.) and I just didn’t feel like doing anything. My dishes piled up, my laundry piled up, there were dog-hair tumbleweeds rolling around the house. And then when I came home on Tuesday, there was a surprise sign in my yard about an open house on Sunday. Yep. We're selling our house. And this open house was news to me. So now I had at least three big projects that need to be done within five days and I had been super lazy mode for a whole week. Talk about feeling behind the eight ball.

When I went to get dressed that morning, I found that I had nothing that I wanted to wear. That afternoon when I finally got back upstairs I realized why. In super lazy mode, I had never unpacked my bag from the beach which had all of my favorites in it. Looking around my closet, I realized that I only wear about 70% of the stuff in there. (Ok, maybe 60%? 50%? Cringe.) The stuff in my bag and my laundry piles are the things I love best and the rest of it is kind of ‘just in case stuff’. So I had a thought. Maybe I should get rid of everything else it's in my closet. I don't like most of it anyway. Either it doesn't look good on me or I don’t like to wear it and chances are, I probably haven't worn it in over year anyway. And yes. I've read all the blogs and articles that say if you haven't worn something in over year you need to get rid of it. But it’s hard. There was always that 'what if’. What if I wanted it? What if I needed it? What if this year was finally the year that I kept my commitment to eating right and exercising consistently and lost a ton of weight and was able to fit into my dress from junior high school? (Yes. I still had a dress from junior high in my closet.)

My thinking was probably inspired by an article I read recently that's been rattling around my head a lot. The thing that stuck with me was the thought that how you approach one part of your life is how you approach all parts of your life. (And I could totally ramble off on a tangent here about being a deadliner and how that ties in with this bout of super lazy mode but we’ll save that for another post! Maybe. Have I mentioned I’m unfocused too?) As I was staring into this abyss of stuff in my closet, it was like a lightning bolt moment and this section of the post came crashing back to me:

Let’s pretend I’m in your home right now. Take a moment and open your closet.

Are there a bunch of clothes in there you never wear, but continue to hold on to, just in case?

If so, I’m betting there are people in your life that don’t match who you are or who you really want to be, yet you continue to hold on to them in fear of standing alone. If that doesn’t fit, how about this? I’m betting there is a job you’re holding on to that you don’t love, but you’re settling for what is, not what you want to be.

Do you see what I mean? The energy is the same. When we hold on to things just in case, we’re buying into poverty consciousness. We’re not trusting that what we need, or who we’ll want, will be there if we let go of what’s no longer working.

Um. Duh? And Wow. So I cleaned out my closet and got rid of all most of the things that don't serve me. It's gonna be helpful for moving. It gave me something to procrastinate all these big projects that I should have been doing and didn’t really feel like doing right at that moment. And hopefully it'll also give me a sense of release and of letting go of things that don't serve me so that I can do it in the rest of my life. I don’t pretend to think that just by getting rid of some of my clothes, I’ll immediately be able to release all of the things in my life that don’t serve me but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, right?